Over at Militant Platypus (great name!) a collection of air traffic control conversations. True? Perhaps. Funny? Absolutely! My favorite:
A DC-10 had come in a little hot and thus had an exceedingly long roll out after touching down. San Jose Tower noted: American 751, make a hard right turn at the end of the runway, if you are able. If you are not able, take the Guadalupe exit off Highway 101, make a right at the lights and return to the airport.