From The What Were They Thinking??? Department


The Kansas City Star brings us the top (or bottom) 10 minor-league baseball promotions.

The Nashua (N.H.) Pride commemorated the 32nd anniversary of Watergate by giving out 1,000 Richard Nixon bobbleheads. Anyone named Woodward or Bernstein got in free.

The Charleston RiverDogs tried to play the quietest game ever on “Silent Night” in 2003. There was no talking for the first five innings, and fans wore duct tape over their mouths. Fans held posters that said “YEAH!,” “BOO!” and “HEY, BEER MAN!”

This season, the Southwest Michigan Devil Rays sent three lucky fans home with their own grounds crew. The Devil Rays sent their grounds crew to the winners’ houses to cut the lawn, weed the garden and take care of the driveway.

At the Altoona Curve’s annual “Awful Night” this season, the Curve strove once again to do everything to make the experience for fans as awful as possible. They sold bottomless beer cups. Fans could purchase the bottom for 13 cents.

On “Pre-planned Funeral Night,” the Hagerstown Suns gave away a full prepaid funeral valued at $6,500. Two thousand fans entered the contest.

This year, the Western Michigan Whitecaps held a $1,000 cash drop from a helicopter for kids ages 5-12. Unfortunately, the stunt backfired, as two 7-year-olds were injured in the mad rush for cash and had to go to the hospital.

The Charleston RiverDogs had Tonya Harding Mini Bat Night, which commemorated “the incident” with fellow figure skater Nancy Kerrigan by handing out bats.

The RiverDogs hit the jackpot again with “Nobody Night” in 2002. Trying to set the record for professional baseball’s lowest attendance (zero), fans were locked out of a RiverDogs game until the fifth inning, when it became official.

Several teams have tried over the years to give out a free vasectomy on Father’s Day. But the Catholic Church always intervenes, and the event has never actually come to fruition.

The Bisbee- Douglas Copper Kings took advantage of baseball legend Ted Williams’ body being cryogenically frozen in 2003 by giving out frozen popsicles to the first 500 fans.

I guess you have to get your attendance numbers somehow.

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