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A collection of comments from the annual ZAGAT airline survey .

“They think nothing is too good for you, and that’s what they provide.”

“The only thing you can hope for is a short flight”

“Their planes make Larry King look young”

“Sitting any closer might constitute marriage in some states”

“I’d rather be a package on FedEx”

“If they could have pay toilets, they would”

“Makes standing in line at the DMV seem like fun”

“They fired the last employee found smiling”

“Only thing worse than flying them is the delay to fly them”

“Equipment must have been used by Lindbergh”

“When asked what kind of chicken they had, she replied ‘the dead kind'”

“I thought the Geneva Convention prevented this kind of thing”

“Only good thing about first class these days is that you leave the plane first”

“Flight schedules are for customers’ amusement”

“Gets you from point a to point b – except if you fly through Philly.”

“Livestock travels under better conditions”

“If a butterfly sneezes, everything gets delayed”

“They lose your luggage between Boston and Buffalo and give you someone in Manila to talk to about it”

“Don’t enter the toilet without a hazmat suit”

“Website is slower than my 100 year-old grandmother”

“The legroom is great if you’re a yard gnome”

“First they make you need a drink, then charge you for it.”