According to this website, there’s a pretty darn good chance that the world is going to experience the Rapture some time today.  What’s the Rapture?  That’s when God takes all the believers up to Heaven and leaves the rest of us sinners, Jews, Muslims and general scoundrels to live in eternal damnation.

Do you need proof?  Just look at the colours they used to show how important the warning is:

I mean, it’s hard to argue when you have bold text highlighted by both Red and Yellow.  I’m screwed and I’m also out of bacon.  Oh the horror!!  On the bright side, they use a lot of question marks – guess they’re just covering their bases in case the Hairy Thunderer has better things to do today.